The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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