Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
