yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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