Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
