i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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