just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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