Your tits are I can't wait for
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
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