How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
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Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
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Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
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