I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
