Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
