Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
