I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
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