no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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