Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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