I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
