I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
