She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize