Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
