I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
