I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
