at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
