Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize