You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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