she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
