Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
