After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
