i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
