therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
