Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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