Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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