I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize