I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize