I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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