Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
