i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
