Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
