Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
