garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I didn't notice because vodka
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Text me some of your sweat
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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