so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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