if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
