I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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