Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
