So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
