It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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