your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
