My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
