So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
