i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
It's just like the Real World with babies
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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