I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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