After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
