Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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