I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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