i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Randomize
