Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
she told me i tasted like america
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
