once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
