also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
