do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
